Gay Pride Adventures!

Ladies and gentlemen, I went on an amazing adventure on Saturday!  This weekend was the gay pride festival in the twin cities. I had plans to go to the pride festival with my best friend, but her car broke down. I didn't have any other way to get to the cities so I was really upset, but after moping for half the day I realized I could take a bus! So, I grabbed my purse & rushed out to catch a shuttle to the Minneapolis airport. While I was waiting for my shuttle to arrive, I contemplated telling my parents where I was going (I didn't have permission to go or anything. I just decided to go. This is a big deal for me because I am compulsively obedient & I have never done anything rebellious in my life). I was very anxious & stressed out that my mother might be furious. I tried calling to tell them that I was going so they would know where I was should anything go wrong. Their line was busy though... I read the entire bus schedule twice to calm myself down and boarded the shuttle.

When I arrived at the airport my dear friend Andrea picked me up and took me to Loring Park where the festivities were taking place. I encountered several friends & acquaintances in the six hours I spent there, but for the most part I was on my own. I got rainbow temporary tattoos, rainbow bracelets, and all kinds of stickers & buttons. There were food stands all over the place peddling greasy fair food...regrettably I reveled in the fact that there was no one around to make me eat. And so I did not. There were so many beautiful gay people!! I felt right at home. There were, of course, the Vote No volunteers & the Human Rights Campaigners. There was a strip of tents for various O&A churches, where I got a rainbow peace sign necklace. There was an area full of dogs, dog treats, and rainbow dog collars. My favorite part was a tent in which a dog layingwas laying next to his owners with a sign that said "Free Puppy Kisses!" I got a free puppy kiss. :)

When the time came for me to go back to the airport & take the shuttle home, my friend Andrea walked me downtown. I took the 55 bus to the Franklin Ave lightrail station, which then took me to the airport. The airport is where things got interesting... I got there at 7:50, and my shuttle was scheduled to leave at 8:15. I ran all over the airport getting more & more lost. By 8:12 I was nearly in tears, but I figured out that I had to take a tram to the opposite end of the airport to get to where the shuttle was. Once I was in the shuttle I was soooo relieved. It would not be good to get stranded there since I wasn't supposed to be there in the first place!

I was so tired when I got back to Rochester. Maybe I'll even tell my parents about it ;)

But no, seriously, I gotta do some homework...

So last night after a looong day of school I got on the bus with a backpack full of notebooks and papers and readings that I was supposed to do.  Did I even touch them? Hell no! Hahaha, nope, I went to my best friends house and we made waffles for dinner and watched British Skins :) We've been watching the series on Netflix, and we've just started the third season.  I love Kaya Scodelario as Effy.  Her character is fantastic, her costumes are fantastic, and her body is soooo fit! I love her. 

My friend and I ate too much chocolate ganache, a few waffles, and also watched the animated Batman series with her little sister.  Her sister kept sticking her feet under my but and wiggling her toes around while I was sitting on the couch next to her and it was very bizarre. 

Whenever I watch Skins I end up wanting to wear something stylish and bad ass, and go out drinking & dancing with a few fine ladies. It's such a bad ass show and I wish life could really be like that, even though the kids on Skins don't lead very wholesome lives.  At least they have fun!
 

I'm pretty excited about Prom and graduation.  Is anyone else getting really antsy for the end of the year? It's gone by so fast... but not fast enough!  

 

Catch you later...  

Yayness and Bliss!

Last night I brought my girlfriend to church with me for the Ash Wednesday meal and service.  I had a wonderful time!  I ate vegetarian soup with fake beef in it (or at least I assumed it was fake beef, and I really, really hope it was).  There was also delicious French silk pie for dessert, which I ate with strawberries. 

 

It was so good to be at church, surrounded by friends & my girlfriend.  I thanked God over and over for leading me to such happiness.  I really am phenomenally happy.  I also get to go to church again on Sunday.  I love going to church.  I go to a United Church of Christ, and it is so welcoming and accepting.  The church community there is like a family.  I love them all so much! 
Next week I’m leaving for a retreat with the youth from my church.  I’m so excited!  I can’t wait.  Next week is going to be sooo long! Especially Friday, since I have to go to school until 2pm before I leave for camp.  Yay! I’m blissing out! 

Hugs, cuddles, and blessings to you!

Snuggles for your heart :)

Remember what I posted yesterday? Well things are different.  Everything is changing.  I now have a beautiful girl in my life and I want to be the best person I can be for her. 

No, i know that realistically everything will not be perfect just. like. that. but I can try harder, you know? So I'm not gonna mope around on my blog anymore.  I'm not going to post thinspo on my tumblr anymore.  I'm going to be a happy cheerful kind of girl.

J gives me so much hope and when I am with her, I am truly happy.  I can't wait for this weekend! I'm spending most of it with her. :)
Wish me luck, ladies and gents!

True Love

I just discovered that Portia and Ellen Degeneres' wedding anniversary is the same day as my birthday.. Life made <3

Brace yourself for the weirdest, most random blog post yet...

I was at a friend's house and her mother came into her room and gave me a great big hug. Maybe she saw it In my face, or maybe she could tell I was hanging onto her for dear life, but she rubbed my back and said, "Heyyy, it's gonna be ok.." All soft and mom-like. I adore my friend's mother.
I don't want you to think that my parents are bad, or that they don't love me. Its just that I can't seem to get enough love from them. I am constantly hungry for affection and people like her mom make me feel like it's gonna be ok. That's a rare sentiment for me. I kind of collect mothers, I guess,but I want love and care and I feel like I have a huge hole in my chest to fill. I feel so black and empty and small. I have a terrible hunger for affection. I need hugs. The Need is gnawing at my heart, hollowing out my chest. It resides where my lungs used to be and breathes its own frosty, rotting breath into me. I can hear the hollowness behind my sternum; it's a dull thud-thump. I can feel it push on the back of my rib cage and probe its fingers around muscle and bone. I need someone to hold me so I won't fall apart if this Hunger splits me in two. I can't hold myself together. So here's how I do it: I wrap my teddy bear up in my prayer shawl, and crawl into bed and squeeze him tight.  Then I pray and imagine I'm spooning with a wonderful, loving wife and I've got our child in my arms.  That is what it takes for me to be calm when I'm all alone and I don't have anyone to talk to.  I've got it all figured out. 

Does that seem weird?

I can't wait for high school to be over.  My life in high school is HELL.

I'm hungry for some kisses....

Sorry guys, but that's all I have to say for today.  I want some kisses :)