I'm exhausted. My medication turns me into a zombie. I sleep like a rock at night, which is wonderful, but it's really difficult to wake up in the morning and get through the day. I'm very easily distracted during my online class - an hour and a half in which I am expected to read through a ton of material, take a billion little quizzes, write papers, and pump out art work like a friggin' print factory without supervision or motivation. I usually go on twitter...and, of course, here! I very rarely write from home. I write every morning while I'm at school. I'm a terrible student, I know...and I don't care.
My hands are healing up very nicely from my panic attack scratching, but it's taking forever. Although it may seem like a fabulous idea at the time, I always regret self harm later. As singer Ida Maria says, "What's easy in the night is always such a bite in the morning light." So please, don't hurt yourself. You are beautiful, you are worth the world, and you will make it through this.
This is the part where someone I know reads this and texts me saying "YOU SHOULD TAKE YOUR OWN ADVICE!" *Sigh* I know, I know. I"m working on it! I promise.
A young couple is having a house built across the street. It's strange... they tore down the old house that was on the lot. An old woman had been living in that house for as long as I can remember, but she passed away about a month ago. I'd shoveled the snow off her walk for years, and then one day when I came home from school, the house was gone and the front walk I'd shoveled had been taken out. Now a huge, ugly house is being planted in the ground. They've just finished the structure for the basement and they're putting in the floor on the first level today. It's super irritating to have to wake up to construction noises at 6 in the morning. Why couldn't they just buy one of the many houses on the market that people are desperately trying to sell because we all need the money?? Did they really have to build a brand new house right there?
I saw a kid get pantsed in the hallway at school this morning. I know it's totally mean and inappropriate, but it made me smile a little bit . . . I told Stacie about it, and she thought it was awful. "I mean, seriously, how old are they??" she asked, in reference to their immaturity.
"Well.." I said, "I pants my 26-year-old sister sometimes..."
"Yeah, but that's funny," she replied, and we both burst out laughing. I love her. :) I'm going to miss her so much when I graduate!!!
I can't believe there are only 47 days (not including weekends) left of my senior year. It's wild! After graduation I'm going to move in with my grandma in a town 20 minutes away so I can be closer to my church and college. I'm going to be a grown -up.... weird....
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