Showing posts with label United Church of Christ. Show all posts
Showing posts with label United Church of Christ. Show all posts

29.6.12

Salutations, blogging world...

I deleted my tumblr a few days ago.  I was posting nothing but thinspiration on it, and I know how toxic that can be for people with eating disorders and issues with body image.  I feel the need to start fresh.  I wish I had a new blog engine.  I wish I knew how to set up my own website.  I'll most likely just stay here though, since I've already got this blog set up, and I enjoy writing. Why change, right?

I suppose this is a reflection upon my frustration with life in general, lately.  I'm in a new city trying to change my lifestyle for the better, but I am still depressed.  One thing I am grateful for is the fact that I have a blank slate... Very few people here know who I am.  I can make new friends, if I like, but I really don't intend to put down any lasting roots here, except my deep roots in the church.  I'll only be in this city for two years, so I see it as more of a stepping stone.  I don't want to settle here.  It is just the next phase in the process of further education. 

The future is terrifying.  I am constantly trying to better myself in order to improve my future, soften it a little. 

I'm still scared. 
                I'm still depressed. 
                                        I am still unsure. 
                                                             I need help. 
                                                                           I need to get my shit together. 

that's me writing

2.4.12

Faith Ponderings (United Church of Christ)


"Around 7 p.m. on February 26, 17-year-old Trayvon Martin walked out of the gated community near Orlando where he was visiting his father to go get some Skittles and a can of iced tea at a neighborhood convenience store. On his way home, George Zimmerman (28) was in his car when he saw Martin walking on the street.   He called the police and said, “There’s a real suspicious guy. This guy looks like he’s up to no good, on drugs or something. It’s raining and he’s just walking around looking about.”  The police dispatcher asked, “Are you following him?”  Zimmerman replied, “Yeah.”  The dispatcher responded, “OK, we don’t need you to do that.”

Martin was talking on the phone with a teenage girl and told her that he was being hounded by a strange man on a cell phone who was running after him.  Zimmerman, carrying 9 millimeter handgun, shot and killed the 17 year old African American boy.  There are many disputes about what really happened during this altercation, but the end result was that a 17 year old un-armed boy was killed, and thus far Zimmerman has not been charged with any crime, claiming his actions were in self-defense. 

Martin’s English teacher described him as “as an A and B student who majored in cheerfulness.”   Martin had no criminal record, yet Zimmerman was charged in July 2005 with resisting arrest with violence and battery on an officer.  Zimmerman called the police 46 times since Jan. 1, 2011, and according to neighbors, Zimmerman was “fixated on crime and focused on young, black males.”

Why does this story matter?  It matters to me, and should matter to us because unfortunately this event represents the continued racism that plagues our country and the lives of our brothers and sisters.  With the upcoming election in November, I recently saw a bumper sticker that said, “Don’t Re-Nig in 2012: Stop repeat offenders.  Don’t reelect Obama.”   This blatant hatred is unacceptable, and as a community of faith is it our business to be involved in places of in-justice in our world.  Micah 6:8 says, “What does the Lord require of you but to seek justice, and to love kindness, and to walk humbly with your God.”  Sometimes it’s easier to walk humbly and love kindness than to seek justice.  Justice is not just the work of courts, government, and legislators. 

Educating yourself about white privilege is a step towards seeking justice.  (I recommend http://www.timwise.org/category/essays/)  Supporting anti-prejudice and anti-racist organizations is a step towards seeking justice.  Making an effort to get to know people different than you or learning about cultures other than you own is a step towards seeking justice. 

Creating the Beloved Community here on earth is what Jesus taught us to do.  This is the work we have been given and entrusted with.  Will you join us?" 
 -Pastor Kayla

26.3.12

Spoiler Alert: Hunger Games

My mental health is taking a turn for the worst.  I went to church yesterday, and normally I am elated to be there.  I love going to church; it's my favorite place to be.  I wasn't as excited as usual, though.  Just relieved.  I felt tired.  During service I cried.  Kayla put her arm around me and I cried harder.  What is it about affection & touch that makes my heart and spine feel electrocuted?  When people show concern or care for me I feel like I'm having a little 2-second heart attack. 
 
I saw my girlfriend last night.  She came with me to youth group and we went out to eat.  I was struggling to eat, which I know was hard for her to witness.  She thinks I purged, too, but I didn't.  I want her to believe me and trust me when I tell her I'm trying my hardest to get better for her. If it weren't for her I wouldn't be putting nearly so much effort into recovery. It's exhausting. 

I got to go see the Hunger Games yesterday.  It was really good!  There were a lot of details that didn't match up with the book, but other than that it was a fabulous movie.  It was terrifying yet moving to see all those kids simultaneously killing each other and banding together to protect each other.  My favorite scene was when Katniss laid Rue to rest with a bouquet of Queen Anne's Lace in her hands and blue & purple Lupins framing her face.  Katniss's compassion for the little girl and her three-finger salute to District 11brought me to tears.  I wish Rue could have made it out alive with Peeta and Katniss.  :(