If you don't want to listen to me bitching about how much my life sucks then don't look at my blog and go print some coloring pages or something. I don't have anything nice to say.

I can't do a single goddamn thing right. My hands are shaking so my hand writing is terrible.  My sweater is linty and I'm too fat for these pants.  I need to buy a lot of new pants in size fat.  I didn't put on any makeup this morning so I look like hell. 

Today is solo / ensemble contest for band and choir.  I just want to look nice, but that is clearly impossible for me.  I don't have anything nice to wear except for these black dress pants and the same fucking sweater that I wear to every band event.  Everyone else will look better than me.  I don't even want to go to contest!  I have put in three years of solos and duets, isn't that enough?  I'm only going because our band director is making me.  I have to be part of a clarinet choir and play a stupid Pavanne that no one in the ensemble likes.   

The school counselor is supposed to meet me in the library.  She was supposed to meet me here 10 minutes ago.  I don't like being stuck in my own head.  It's a shitty place to be. 

This week is the last time I will see my current therapist.  She's quitting her job.  It's bullshit & it's not fair.  I really, really like her.  I don't want to see anybody else.  I'm sorry that I'm such a selfish brat but I wish she weren't quitting her job.  I need someone I like and trust, and I've never had that before.  This therapist is the first good therapist I've ever had. 

Today is not a good day.  I will not be eating anything today.  I'm a disappointment.