Planning my Funeral

I just went on the bike ride from hell... I rode from my house on the south side of town 20 minutes to the north side of town with a back pack of at least 20 pounds. When I got there, my bike lock wouldn't close so I had to go all the way back home to ask my gramma to drive me to my destination. Did I mention it's 90 degrees out there?? I need a nap. I'm hungry again, too.  Fuck.

My friend and I are planning my funeral.  It's going to be a blast!  There will be tons of cool celebrities there, and a dance party afterwards.  It'll be more like a wedding reception than a post-funeral gathering.  The guest list includes Heidi Klum, P!nk, the Queen of England, Lady Gaga, Tim Gunn, Ellen and Portia Degeneres, Obama, Lily Allen, and Paul McCartney.  Oh, and my family.  At the after party there will be dancing and french fries, ranch dressing, chocolate cake, cheesecake, red wine, champagne, and beer.  I don't actually like beer but my friend and I agreed it would probably be a good thing to have for those who do like it.   There will be blue irises, calla lilies, unicorns, rainbows and glitter everywhere.  P1nk will sing "Beam Me Up," Lady Gaga will perform "Born This Way" (even though I'll be dead this way), and there will be a hug circle.  I love hug circles...

I wish I could be there.  I've always wanted to meet these people!  And I love me some red wine and cheesecake.